Whenever you find a judgement or criticism about yourself or another take a moment to see how that quality when elevated, is a strength. We can be quick to judge and condemn but the reality is that we all have propensities towards certain behavioral expressions. Some of us value being organized and ambitious, while some of prefer to be easy-going and relaxed, and all experience natural changes in these phases throughout our lives. These aspects or qualities have the potential to be expressed in a useful and elevated way or a destructive way. It’s not the quality that needs to change necessarily, it’s the energy that you bring to the expression.
For example, I would describe myself as adaptable and flexible. When my energy is low however, my propensity to this expression can manifest as aloofness or instability. Another example is that sometimes I can be overly critical towards myself and others. At times, it has stopped me from sharing my work or even completing projects because of this judgemental nature. When elevated however, this very same quality makes me highly precise and attentive to detail. So it’s not about becoming non-judgemental, rather elevating the judgement to precision and accuracy.
Messy and unorganized can be elevated to highly creative.
Emotional can be elevated to sensitive and perceptive.
This works well in relations too...
If I feel challenged in conversation with my partner, rather than staying stuck in the view that he is stubborn or doesn’t listen, I can choose to feel gratitude for his strength and reliability. This stubbornness when elevated is incredible strength and stability which I value greatly in our relationship. This helps soften our communication so that neither of us has to be ‘right’. In accepting each other we are able to rise above criticism and simply hear each other out. This is a great way to bring out the best in another rather than to focus on the lowest expression of a specific quality. It takes practice but if you've ever been stuck in a rut of arguing about the same silly things this can help tremendously to break the cycle.
Before you are quick to judge yourself, ask what is the elevated version of this behavior?
Then it’s as simple as transforming your physical energy (meditation, breathwork, exercise, kundalini, walking) so that you can choose the elevated expression.