You may think it’s more painful to fail than it is to succeed, I have a different perspective.
When we fail at something, yes it hurts and some people never come back from failures. They fail one time and they don’t try again. The disappointment was too much too handle, and they retreat to their comfort zone. The problem isn’t with failing, the problem is inaccurate expectations. Anyone who has succeeded at anything great in life will tell you to plan for failures and to welcome them even, knowing they are on their way, and when they do come, take the hit and get back up as soon as possible. Keep going.
Failure is really not so bad, not compared to success. Success asks that you let go of everything that you thought you were, and to leave a safe, familiar ground to step into Nobody-fucking-knows-what. When you are succeeding at life it means that you are growing and if you remember back to 13 years old, growing comes with pain. A lot of pain. When you are succeeding, like really experiencing deep fulfillment and growth in your life, things change fast. Here’s a few tips to make it easier:
CELEBRATE your wins. This might seems silly and obvious, but I see far too many people who skip this CRUCIAL step. They get a win and instead of celebrating and reveling in the joy and fulfillment they are refocused again on the next target. Most of my clients tell me that they don’t know how or they forget to celebrate their wins, so I tell them to make a list of ways to play and celebrate. Take some time to make a list of big a little things you can do and put it next to your To Do list, or somewhere on their office wall where you will see it often. Feelings of gratitude, appreciation and play will refuel you and keep you going.
GET NEW FRIENDS. This may sound harsh, but you just might need this reality check. If the people you spend a lot of time with are lazy, excuse-makers who blame everyone but themselves for their situation, they are going to bring you down. To maintain and expand your success it's useful to be around others who have a creative and growth mindset. Meet new people who live with this fresh and creative energy by attending mastermind groups, training programs or networking events. There are tons of places on the internet, or in your local community, you can find events on meetup.com or facebook events.
INCREASE CONFIDENCE. When you reach a new level of success it’s like being a little in a big new ocean, and when you’re a new fish it’s easy to question and doubt your abilities or worthiness for your success. This is a huge reason for self-sabotage that can easily be avoided by upgrading your belief systems and glass-ceiling limit. Even if you are very self-aware there are still subconscious blocks that are very good at hiding in the shadows, designed to keep you in a safe and familiar place. If you want to face these head-on, I recommend a session with an intuitive coach or hypnotherapist.
AUTOMATIC NO. Now that you are feeling successful and therefore highly magnetic, you will be attracting all kinds of new opportunities and attention. You’ll need strong boundaries here in order to stay focused and clear on the people and things you most value. People pleasers pay close attention: Saying NO to things that you don’t feel 100% aligned with makes your YES way stronger. My advice: Be an automatic NO to absolutely everything and everyone forevermore, unless you get an every-cell-in-your-body F*CK YES! In which case you better listen. PS: This increases your intuition!
With success comes a new identity, and a new way of living and holding yourself accountable, that can at first seem like a lot of work, but when you reframe your perception of discipline a whole new world of freedom is available to you. It can be painful to let go of familiar habits, but if you use powerful tools like hypnotherapy it’ll be more like ripping off a bandaid. And since real authentic success means you are learning to embody your higher self, there may be a lot of unhelpful habits and conditioning to undo. The good news is that there is no going back. Unlike failure, where you can fall on your ass and never get back up again, success will only bring you upgrade after upgrade and expand your awareness. So if you want to handle success like a boss work on your boundaries, your mindset, your social circle and make time to play!