What I learned in 2018

This past year for me has been all about shedding judgements and fears and letting go of what other people think of me. not easy, but absolutely liberating.

Among the sudden events and challenging relationships the lessons of 2018 have been about releasing judgements and not giving a *$%& what others think. Mastering my own inner alignment and daily personal practice has given me the stability and the strength to know who I am and what my truth is. Without my daily kundalini practice I would be a lot more shaky and uncertain and I’m very grateful for these teachings. I wouldn’t be the same person without consistent daily meditation practice. Here's a few of the most important things I learned in 2018:

Allow Others to Have Their Own Experience

I had some incredibly challenging moments this past year with family that put me in a very difficult position, leaving me feeling responsible for the lives and decisions that other people made. In an attempt to take away their struggle I went well out of my way to help them only to leave myself feeling burnt out, disconnected from my power and even slightly resentful when I received a cold shoulder and no thanks. What followed the 3 months of trying to pick up the pieces for another was allowing them to choose to live on the street. Yes, homeless. This is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced in my entire life. It was however, exactly what needed to happen for reasons that I later came to discover, and some that I may never come to understand.

The point of sharing this is that no matter what we think or believe, we can never know what is in someone else’s best interest. Even if it looks like 10 steps backwards, or the most terrible thing that could happen to a person, sometimes those challenges offer the greatest gifts, or lessons that help them their souls journey. It was painful and incredibly difficult to let go, but I had to learn how to give up control, and not knowing what would happen. The more I tried to fix things or help them, the more I seemed to interfere and the more I trusted that their higher selves were perfectly orchestrating their process, the more peace was afforded for all parties involved. It’s not always helpful to take away other people’s pain. In fact, it's rarely even possible. It can even be disempowering and often delays the inevitable. Don’t take this as advice, rather as understanding that we can’t really pick up the pieces for everyone. It’s just not sustainable. We can’t walk someone’s path for them.

I don’t know what’s in my own best interest.

This one is straight out of A Course In Miracles. This book as greatly influenced my life in 2018, especially this statement. At first I resisted it. Of course I know what’s best for me!

Being a crackhead living on the streets = not good for me.

Eating healthy and exercising = my best interest.

What I discovered once I cooled my ego, let my guard down, and let this truth penetrate my awareness is that no matter how much I think I know about right and wrong I could never know what is in my best interest. Some of the greatest lessons I have learned which have shaped me into who I am have come from things that I initially judged as not being in my best